Under the Gun of Social Security Disability Review Process Again
*Updated* (with the usual edits)
*Note*: This is an updated and edited version of one I e-mailed out to my various e-mail networks earlier.
Although I tend to not always let people know much about what is going on with me or exactly how I am actually doing at times or, at least do not share all the details or depths of such, especially when I am really struggling, this year has been rather tough for me in one manner and degree or another and, during such experiences, finds me barely coping as a result.
When I checked my mail yesterday there was a disability review information and form packet mailed by the Montpelier office of the Social Security Administration.
This is my third review, the last being in 1998/1999, which was one I barely survived after initially having my social security benefits terminated through what was a flawed process on the part of the state disability review office, but then who finally revisited, reviewed and eventually reversed their decision once concerns and protest as well as additional authoritative information was brought to their attention on my behalf by others.
For more on the subject, read a reprint of: The Journey of dis-Ability: Reflections on How Income Can Benefit Outcomes (via The Independent; February-March 1999 Edition; Volume 8, Number 1; posted Friday, January 17, 2003).
It has been in the back of my mind for a while now that I could be the subject of another review at some point, especially given some of the more higher profile activities and blogging I have engaged in of late (e.g., the Vermont Watch blog), which could have come to the attention of certain persons and possibly causing some to question whether I was still qualified for these income and related benefits or not.
That said, I am not at all suggesting that this is indeed the case, only that I knew when I started my political blog there existed a greater potential of leading to such an end. That said as well, I also knew a review could happen even if I did not engage in such activities and blogging, so I had nothing to lose either way or so it seemed. Thus, whatever the case might actually be, it is a moot point since I have no control over it one way or another and have to focus on what is in front of me instead.
While I have about two weeks to fill out the forms included within the packet, I am already feeling fairly stressed about it (including experiencing attacks of both deep panic as well as severe anxiety).
At least in part, this is because when I read some of the enclosed information and questions on the forms, as well as the medicalized context within how they are presented, it would -- and, also based on previous experience from the last time around -- seem to spell major gloom and doom.
However, while I do believe that how this process will be done will be different this time around, it could easily still result in a decision to terminate my benefits and, if this worse case scenario were to indeed happen, then leaving me forced to have to go through an appeal process and not being able to endure coping with it.
Just because an individual has rights to appeal, does not always mean they survive the process either very well or at all, even if they could be successful if they were able to persist, something that can be very difficult to do even when a person has the help of others. I know, been there, done that both when I went through the lengthy process of initially getting the benefits as well as the last review.
The very thorough review in between those two was rather easier on comparison, yet no less stressful and troubling for me; in fact it was the first review in 1993 or 1994 or so that caused a lot of upheaval to the point that afterwards I moved out of the housing (Summer 1996) I had been in since the Spring of 1992 due at least in part to the stress of the experience as well as other factors leading to my no longer feeling safe and comfortable within those quarters.
All to state that if I either appear to be under more duress or become less engaged than has usually been the case of late, this could help to explain at least part of why.
It seems like this will be yet another chapter in the ongoing saga that shall be filed under the Journey of dis-Ability, with mine being just one version of journeys faced differently in one manner and degree or another by many others as well of course.
*Note*: made several edits for the purpose of clarification and readability; last updated on Monday, December 1, 2008 at 4:08 AM (ET).
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